Need more time? or need more Jesus?

So the wait is over, I will start work tomorrow with AIM (Abstinence in Motion). Here is a link to their website if you want to check it out...aimproject. I'm pretty excited to get to work for an organization I believe in 100%! It's funny, before we got married I thought I would love just being at home all day every day. But I quickly realized once the house was situated that I am not much of a stay at home wife. I need a little people interaction in my life and something productive to do. 


God has also shown up in this past month and half despite the fact that, in all honestly, I haven't used much of my free time to spend with Him. I think God has really shown me that I don't do a very good job of making the most of my time to spend the time I need to in His Word. Yes I have had a whole house to get situated and that does take some time. But it also became a month and half filled with TV and internet time. While that whole time I could have had a month & a half of sweet time with the Lord. Why is it that when we have a million things going on we are too busy for reading God's Word. But then when we get free time we still don't take time to spend with Him? Something I think I have learned is that whether we have 24 free hours in a day or 24 wrapped up hours in a day, something will consume us. We will either be consumed with the love of God or the crap in the world.


The funny thing about what you are consumed with, is that you control it. I started to get consumed with having a great looking house and other things of this world because that is what I fed myself. Yes, I had some good moments with God in there and was still learning from Him. But in all honestly I was slowly filling myself with crap of this world. The time I spent with God vs the time I spent watching tv or movies or being on the internet is incomparable. I used all the free time I had to squeeze God in here & there between all of the worldly influences. It's easy when you're working, having class, and busy with church activities to blame the business on a lack of time spent with God. It's not so easy when you strip all of that away and still lack that daily time spend with God in your life. 


This lesson has been a humbling one for me and honestly I didn't want to share about it. I mean come on, spending time daily with God is like the #1 thing Christians know they are suppose to do. But still I find myself caught not doing it. And since I know that we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, maybe there is someone else out there who is struggling to make time in God's Word a priority on a daily basis. Maybe you need to ask yourself the same questions I'm asking myself. What am I feeding myself? What am I allowing myself to be consumed with? If I'm feeding myself with the things of the world, I will be consumed by the things of the world. I know that's pretty elementary sounding, but we miss it so much. I am so guilty. I fill my time with facebook, tv, secular music, and following celebrities on twitter and think it's not going to affect me. Thankfully God has used the truth of His Word to convict me and show me that I need to be more careful about what I feed myself. 


The sad thing is, I know this. I have taught lessons on this. I know I have to fill myself with truth and not be consumed by the world. I use Romans 12:2 so often when talking with others. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." So while I find this to be true, the more I spend time in God's Word the more I desire it. I also find this next statement to be true in my life. The more I spend time with the culture, the more I desire it. So maybe my problem with not spending the time I should in God's word is that I'm not desiring it. The problem is I am allowing myself to spend time being consumed with the world and that is becoming what I desire. It's scary how quickly we can fall into sin without realizing it. We have to be in God's Word so that we recognize the sin in our lives and can repent and God can continue to transform our lives. Here's some Truth found in Luke...


“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." Luke 6:43-45


So I have to ask myself, what am I storing up in my heart? The truth is, it will come out. I think for most of us, the problem is not that we don't have enough time for Jesus, we just don't have enough Jesus.