Need more time? or need more Jesus?

So the wait is over, I will start work tomorrow with AIM (Abstinence in Motion). Here is a link to their website if you want to check it out...aimproject. I'm pretty excited to get to work for an organization I believe in 100%! It's funny, before we got married I thought I would love just being at home all day every day. But I quickly realized once the house was situated that I am not much of a stay at home wife. I need a little people interaction in my life and something productive to do. 


God has also shown up in this past month and half despite the fact that, in all honestly, I haven't used much of my free time to spend with Him. I think God has really shown me that I don't do a very good job of making the most of my time to spend the time I need to in His Word. Yes I have had a whole house to get situated and that does take some time. But it also became a month and half filled with TV and internet time. While that whole time I could have had a month & a half of sweet time with the Lord. Why is it that when we have a million things going on we are too busy for reading God's Word. But then when we get free time we still don't take time to spend with Him? Something I think I have learned is that whether we have 24 free hours in a day or 24 wrapped up hours in a day, something will consume us. We will either be consumed with the love of God or the crap in the world.


The funny thing about what you are consumed with, is that you control it. I started to get consumed with having a great looking house and other things of this world because that is what I fed myself. Yes, I had some good moments with God in there and was still learning from Him. But in all honestly I was slowly filling myself with crap of this world. The time I spent with God vs the time I spent watching tv or movies or being on the internet is incomparable. I used all the free time I had to squeeze God in here & there between all of the worldly influences. It's easy when you're working, having class, and busy with church activities to blame the business on a lack of time spent with God. It's not so easy when you strip all of that away and still lack that daily time spend with God in your life. 


This lesson has been a humbling one for me and honestly I didn't want to share about it. I mean come on, spending time daily with God is like the #1 thing Christians know they are suppose to do. But still I find myself caught not doing it. And since I know that we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, maybe there is someone else out there who is struggling to make time in God's Word a priority on a daily basis. Maybe you need to ask yourself the same questions I'm asking myself. What am I feeding myself? What am I allowing myself to be consumed with? If I'm feeding myself with the things of the world, I will be consumed by the things of the world. I know that's pretty elementary sounding, but we miss it so much. I am so guilty. I fill my time with facebook, tv, secular music, and following celebrities on twitter and think it's not going to affect me. Thankfully God has used the truth of His Word to convict me and show me that I need to be more careful about what I feed myself. 


The sad thing is, I know this. I have taught lessons on this. I know I have to fill myself with truth and not be consumed by the world. I use Romans 12:2 so often when talking with others. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." So while I find this to be true, the more I spend time in God's Word the more I desire it. I also find this next statement to be true in my life. The more I spend time with the culture, the more I desire it. So maybe my problem with not spending the time I should in God's word is that I'm not desiring it. The problem is I am allowing myself to spend time being consumed with the world and that is becoming what I desire. It's scary how quickly we can fall into sin without realizing it. We have to be in God's Word so that we recognize the sin in our lives and can repent and God can continue to transform our lives. Here's some Truth found in Luke...


“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." Luke 6:43-45


So I have to ask myself, what am I storing up in my heart? The truth is, it will come out. I think for most of us, the problem is not that we don't have enough time for Jesus, we just don't have enough Jesus. 

Day to Day

Well Steve & I have been married for over a month now and we are pretty settled in our new home. I suppose you could say the hype of the wedding, the honeymoon, and moving in a new house has settled. It's easy to want to live on a high all the time, but the reality is most of life is just day to day. Everyday is not filled with huge events or moments. But I have to say I really love the day to day life of being married. I love just living life day by day a long side my man. It's watching TV, eating dinner, having good conversations, leaving little notes on the refrigerator, working out, goofing off, disagreements that ultimately teach us a little more about the other person, watching movies, and even playing video games. It's having someone to support you even if you're just being an over emotional girl. More than those things, it's having someone to encourage you in your relationship with God. Someone to pray with and spend a life worshipping God with. Someone who pushes you a little closer to God than you were yesterday. I love the big event moments of life, but I pray that I don't miss the joy found in the everyday blessing of daily living.

Now I Remember...

Last night our wedding photographer, Noel Sapp, made a trip to Troy to hand deliver our pictures. We absolutely love them! He did such a great job! I'm so thankful for photographers. That day flew by so quickly it was almost a blur. Thanks to Noel, that day is back in focus for us and we can remember it for a lifetime! Here's a look at our wedding day...

something old (my great grandmother's handkerchief), something new (TOMS shoes),  something borrowed (a little heart I gave my mom when I was little), something blue (there was blue in the garter)

getting ready!

mom zipping me up

where do you wear your TOMS?

boys getting ready

before he saw me

"hey there..." :)

gotcha! :)

4 generations of women

all the girls

all the boys

the wedding party

the bride's family

the groom's family

ring bearer & flower girl

"here comes the bride..."

giving me away

we're getting married!

1st thing we did as man & wife was take communion & pray

"you may now kiss the bride!" yay!

Steve fist pumping for being married!

yay we're married!

bride's cake

celebrate!

1st dance as husband & wife

cake time!

let's dance!

my favorite pic

rings

another ring shot

we're outta here!

Time flies!

Wow, so as of yesterday Steve & I have been married for one month! It's crazy how quickly time flies! It has been a great month and I am so excited about the many more months and years we will have together. It's so awesome when you find someone you connect with so easily! Now, don't misunderstand, we don't always agree 100% and things aren't always perfect. I think we do a pretty good job of talking those type of things out and exhibiting some grace & mercy just as God has done for us!

We celebrated by eating at Santa Fe, topping it off with some blizzards from DQ, and then watching The Notebook. He picked out the sappy love movie of his choice, which was great because I LOVE The Notebook. More than that, I loved hanging out with my husband without any distractions and just enjoying each other!

Here's a quick look at our first month together...

We're married!!!

Honeymooning!

Getting all moved into our new home!

Watching American Idol & Sons of Guns

Cooking yummy meals!

Playing Call of Duty...yes I have even played some! haha

We started working out together! He's kicking my butt! haha

Our first month of marriage gets 2 thumbs up! :)

Two Became One

My cousin called today to let me know the video he made from the wedding was ready. Check it out by clicking here Steve & Amanda!

Watching it really took me right back to that day. Which means he did a good job! So much emotion goes into your wedding day. There's anxiety, worries about what might go wrong, laughter, excitement, nervousness, etc. But in the midst of all of that there is just a simple joy. Joy found in knowing you are about to enter into a lifelong relationship with someone you absolutely love & adore. That emotion is what came flooding back to me as I watched the video.


I can't help but think of the beautiful picture a marriage portrays of Christ loving the church. Just as Steve & I became one through marriage, we become one with Christ when we accept him as Lord & Savior. Ephesians 5 describes it best. We see a wife's role described by submitting to her husband as the Church submits to Christ.  The husband's role is described by loving his wife as Christ loves the church. I used to cringe at these verses. I honestly did not like to think about having to submit or yield to the authority of another person. I thought of it as losing my own independence or something. But I view it in a whole different light now. There are times when I am completely consumed and just can't stop smiling because of how much I love Steve, but mostly because I can see how much he loves me. See the church, those who are followers of Christ, submit to Christ out of love. Christ loves us so much that he gave Himself for us. It's kinda like Steve goes out of his way to show his love for me. He tells me all the time and he shows me through his actions. I must say Steve & I are very far from loving each other perfectly. We are humans who mess up like everybody else. Hopefully, through God's grace & mercy, we are able to strive to love each other and live as God has called us to. And by His strength, we come close to showing each other love like Jesus. Jesus went out of his way to show his love for us.


"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:5-8)


That is love...selflessness, sacrifice, humility, and obedience. I think about the simple words I spoke as wedding vows on that day..."I, Amanda, take you, Steve, to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until death do us part." I cannot begin to keep these vows without selflessness, humility, sacrifice, and obedience. I definitely cannot keep those vows outside of a relationship with God.


See entering into a relationship with God is much how I described the wedding day. You might have anxiety, worries, or be nervous. You may have guilt over your past. Maybe you think you don't deserve God, which none of us do btw. But there is a simple joy about it. A joy knowing you are entering not just into a lifelong relationship, but an eternal relationship. An eternal relationship with the God of the universe who loves you. A perfect God that we are separated from because of our sin. But a God who chooses not to just leave us stranded in this. In light of this, I must take a second to explain another attribute of God other than love. God is also just and because he is just there is punishment for sin. The punishment for sin is death. You may recall the old testament stories of people sacrificing unblemished animals to pay for their sin. See Jesus humbly came from heaven to earth. He lived the perfect life we cannot live. He took the punishment of death that we deserve. He became that unblemished (having no sin) sacrifice. He did all of this so that we don't have to be eternally separated from God, but can have an eternal relationship with Him. John 3:16 familiar to anyone? It's not just a verse that everyone seems to know, it's absolute truth!


Steve & I shared vows with one another and gave rings as a symbol of our love and commitment. We became one. I am no longer just Amanda living for myself and he is no longer just Steve living for himself. God has united us and we are living one life together. Now, on a daily basis, we have to talk to one another and do things that continue to build our relationship and honor our commitment to one another. Admit to God you need Him and accept the love He has for you. Commit your life to him and enter into the most important relationship you ever can. You will no longer just be you living for yourself and a world that does nothing but lead to emptiness. Then spend time in His Word, spend time praying, and spend time doing what He calls you to do. Not because you are trying to do these things to win over his favor, but out of love.


"We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:19