About a month after going back to work part time, my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home. I soon came to learn of the abbreviation SAHM for "stay at home mom", so in trendy fashion I'll use that as I continue.
Before I continue, let me stray a bit for naysayers sake. My husband and I made a decision together, with equal input, for me to stay home. I wanted to stay home and he wanted me to. We have a partnership so we discuss and pray about things together. One more disclaimer, I have no problem with moms who choose to work or have to work. This was a decision we made for our family and what we believe God wanted and works best for us. Honestly, a lot of what I'm about to say could go for those who work as well!
Ok, now that the disclaimers are out of the way, let me get back to the topic at hand. So I find myself having conversations similar to this:
Person I meet or haven't seen in a while: What do you do?
Me: I just stay home with my baby.You see that little word there between "I" and "stay". Why do I say the word just? Why don't I confidently say, "I stay home with my baby" or even better "I get to stay home with my baby." Am I ashamed to stay home? Honestly no, I love it and view it as such a privilege! Am I worried what that person's opinion is about me being a SAHM? Probably, because I worry about what people think too much and the mommy wars can get pretty intense!
I honestly think another reason is our culture has put a negative spin on being a SAHM and not working outside the home. By making such a big deal about women becoming CEOs or being able to "have it all" I think our culture has belittled what is truly the biggest privilege I have ever had, caring for my baby girl full time! I'm not saying women shouldn't pursue these things, but it is ok if we don't. I think when I say that I just stay home I am falling in line with the very thinking I disagree with in our culture.
I think there was a lot of good that came from the early women's movements, but I think it has now been taken to the other extreme. Women who choose to stay home to raise children are looked down on. People think we must be oppressed by our husbands or some set of religious rules. The very people who claim to want women to have the right to do whatever they want, ridicule women who use that right to choose to be home with their kids and enjoy making their house a "home" full time.
I am not writing this to tell other moms to stay at home or make them feel bad for not. I simply want to encourage those who are or who want to but fear what others think. In fact, a lot of this next part could be said to most any mom! :)
So hey there fellow SAHM! I applaud you for what you do! I pray you love and enjoy it as much as I do! Yes, it's hard. Our houses aren't as clean as we think they should be since we are here all day. That laundry gets higher and higher. The sink seems like a bottomless pit of dishes. Sometimes you think you will never get a break or sleep again, but hang in there! What you do matters!
You are molding, shaping, and loving your family. You are making memories that you and they will cherish. You enjoy those extra snuggles before a nap. Let the dishes pile up without shame while you watch your little one learn to roll over, crawl, and walk. No the dirty laundry will never stop coming, but your family appreciates the clean clothes along the way. If they don't, the people they are around will!
So when someone asks you what you do, say with pride, "I am a stay home mom!" Don't be ashamed that you don't have a job outside the home and you just or only are a homemaker. It's ok that the only headshot you have is a scribble stick version drawn by your little one. You may not be on the cover of a magazine or speak to millions, but the impact you have on your family matters. You are doing important work!
When you are tired and weary and discouraged, remember Jesus says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28 ESV)
When you feel discontent remember the words of Paul, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content...I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:11, 13 ESV)
When you worry about not having the approval of others remember the words from Galatians, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10 ESV)
I hope you are encouraged fellow SAHM, or any mom! God has called you to be a wife and mom and He is there with you as you do it! Now go read that book for the millionth time or change the 100th dirty diaper of the day!
