Slowing Down this Christmas

I love Christmas! Like really really love it. Moments like I have pictured above give me so much joy it's a little ridiculous! I love lights, Christmas songs, and drinking coffee out of a tacky Christmas mug. Hallmark Christmas movies are pretty much blockbuster hits in my eyes. It has been so much fun to set up the nativity scene and talk through each part with my toddler, but let's be real, all she wants to do is eat the wisemen. I become a nostalgic and sentimental freak with Christmas traditions from my childhood and developing new ones with my own little family. Add in we now live in the house my grandparents built and you have a recipe for a total nostalgic Christmas nut-job, just ask my husband! I love pretty much everything about this time of year except for how busy it can become.

I realize this is not a very unique blog post. I can imagine there are probably hundreds of "Christmas time is busy" posts out there. I don't have a great reason as to why I want to add another other than it's on my mind, I feel like writing out my thoughts, and my toddler is taking a good nap. I am not a faithful blogger and I testify to that in probably every post because they are so spread out. Every now and then I get the itch to get my thoughts out and share them with others who may be processing some of the same ideas. Maybe we can process together and be a little less nuts this holiday season!

I know you're all ready hearing it and saying it, "This time of year is so busy!"  There are parties to attend and so much shopping to be done. Christmas cards have to be mailed, you know, before Christmas Eve at least. You have daily advent activities to plan or elf escapades to prepare. There are decorations to put out or up or however you want to say it. As if that isn't enough, for the most part we have to continue with our normal daily activities and responsibilities. For some reason my family still wants food daily and clean clothes during December. Don't they know the Pintrest pressure I'm feeling?!

I don't know about you, but my newsfeed is filled with Christmas decoration pictures, elf ideas, santa ideas, elf and santa more Christ-centered alternative ideas, advent calendars, and on and on. This isn't a rant against those things. I love most of them and do a lot of them. I try to be very Romans 14 with all of that and try to not pass judgement on others, seek peace, and pursue building others up toward Christ. We don't have to agree on elves and Santa to accomplish that. I could probably write a post on that topic, but that's for another day, you know in a year when I blog again. (Is using the word "blog" even still cool?) Ok, back on track, what I'm trying to do and want to encourage us all to do is SLOW DOWN a little. 

I know the thought of "slowing down" this time of year seems impossible. As I type those words my brain immediately rejects the idea with lists of things that must be done and Pintrest ideas that would make Christmas perfect and remarkable. I think we all have good intentions. We want Christmas to point to Christ and be fun and memorable for our families. The thing is, I think that in the midst of it all we can get overwhelmed with all the stuff and miss out on what the stuff is intended to accomplish. We can plan out the perfect daily advent activities and go out of our way to make them happen. Still at the end of the day we might completely miss out on experiencing Christ in them and the joy that comes from that.

So let's slow down together for just a minute. Let's look at what it is we are celebrating and hoping to point to with all of this hustle and bustle.

"For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

We don't need to miss this, not this year, not any year. We are celebrating the birth of Jesus who is the Son of God. Let that sink in for a second: God sent us His Son! Paul tells it this way to the Philipians, "...Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." I know that last part is Easter. What am I thinking mixing holidays? We all barely have time to squeeze in one holiday right now, right?! The thing is we can't properly celebrate Christmas without the coming of Easter in mind. The reason God's Son being born is something to celebrate is because He grew into a man who was without sin, was put to death on the cross, and rose again. The angel didn't just tell Joseph that Mary was going to have a baby. The angel pointed to Who that baby would grow up to be and what He would eventually do.

"She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sin." (Matthew 1:21)

We are celebrating the advent, or coming, of God's Son! I know I keep stressing that, but it's everything! God's Son took on human form, grew up holy and perfect in the midst of a sinful world, and sacrificed Himself to save His people. There is nothing we can do to make that any more remarkable than it all ready is! However, I would say there is plenty we can do to either focus on that or distract from it.

Now don't get worried, I'm not saying do away with all the Christmas traditions and fun. Don't rip those lights down yet or pack up all your crafty activities. Remember, this is the nostalgic Christmas freak talking here! I just want to encourage us all, myself foremost, to not get so busy we miss Who we are celebrating. We try so hard to make this season about miracles and wonder, but Jesus in and of Himself is all of that. Don't get overwhelmed by all the ideas that would make this Christmas just perfect. Pick one that you like, works well for your family, and enjoy it! Simplify if you need to or go big if you prefer, just let Jesus be what makes this Christmas remarkable. After all He is Wonderful, our Counselor, the Mighty God, our Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace!

From Nagging Wife to Walking in Newness of Life

I was rocking my daughter to sleep one night and there was a constant dripping of rain onto the air conditioning unit outside. It was driving me insane. The sound of falling rain on our tin roof is such a relaxing sound. This was not that. It was just this constant little noise that grew more annoying as it continued on and on. This is what the Bible compares a quarrelsome or nagging wife to in Proverbs. As much as I hate to admit it, I am so often that annoying dripping rain in my home. So often I'm the Proverbs 27:15 woman instead of the woman of Proverbs 31. I can give you a lot of excuses as to why this happens. I'm exhausted. I can't keep up with the dirty dishes or never ending loads of laundry. I never get time to myself to relax. I mean even when I go to the bathroom I'm trying to keep my darling little girl from nose diving into the bathtub or eating toilet paper. The list could go on and on, but these are just excuses. The reality is I'm putting what I want above everything else. I want clean dishes. So when my husband makes the dishes dirty I just cleaned, I nag. In that moment I decide to value clean dishes over loving my husband. I don't want to be the nagging wife. I want to love my husband well, be a great mom, and a great housekeeper all rolled into one cheerful put together in shape woman! I want to have it all together, but I don't. I just don't.

In and of myself I fall short daily, hourly, and minutely! I feel the words of Paul so deeply from Romans 7, "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." All of this can leave me in a bad place of feeling inadequate and having a nice little pity party with a bowl of ice cream and a Hallmark movie. While ice cream and Hallmark movies are 2 very amazing things, they only help temporarily and they definitely don't make me a better wife or mom. The truth is there is only one place I can turn to truly be comforted and encouraged. There is only one place I can turn to be transformed into a person that encourages and loves others well. I must turn to Christ!

What does this look like practically? How do I keep from turning into that annoying dripping of rain? How do I turn to Christ on a daily basis? I live out His Truth. I can forgive others and seek their forgiveness because of God’s forgiveness in my own life. I can love others because God has loved me (1 John 4:19). When life doesn’t look the way I want, I can be content because I know contentment doesn’t come from my circumstances being what I want. In any and every situation I can trust in God to strengthen me (Philippians 4:13), but I must trust in God and not Amanda. I have to rest in God’s strength, not try to muster up my own. I have to die to myself and walk by faith in Jesus who loved me and died for me (Galatians 2:20). I have to pray and trust the power of the Holy Spirit to work these things in my heart and in my life. I need to wake up everyday and fix my eyes on eternity not on the temporal things of this world. For example, more Bible less Netflix! More prayer and seeking God, less Instagram and seeking likes!

Bottom line, to turn to God I need to talk to Him (pray) and listen to Him (read His Word). I must trust the words of Ephesians 2. I have to believe God is rich in mercy and that even when I was dead in sin He loved me and made me alive with Christ. I don't have to pull myself together; God pulled me together by Christ's work on the cross! Now, I can walk in newness of life (Roman 6:4) and know with confidence that God will complete the good work He began in me (Philippians 1:4). I can say with Paul, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)” Bottom line, I have to rest in the Gospel EVERY SINGLE DAY. This Gospel, these Truths that initially set me free over 10 years ago, are the same Truths I must be reminded of every day and every hour of every day!

To the Stay At Home Mom: Let's Drop the "Just"

About a month after going back to work part time, my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home. I soon came to learn of the abbreviation SAHM for "stay at home mom", so in trendy fashion I'll use that as I continue. 

Before I continue, let me stray a bit for naysayers sake. My husband and I made a decision together, with equal input, for me to stay home. I wanted to stay home and he wanted me to. We have a partnership so we discuss and pray about things together. One more disclaimer, I have no problem with moms who choose to work or have to work. This was a decision we made for our family and what we believe God wanted and works best for us. Honestly, a lot of what I'm about to say could go for those who work as well!

Ok, now that the disclaimers are out of the way, let me get back to the topic at hand. So I find myself having conversations similar to this:

Person I meet or haven't seen in a while: What do you do?

Me: I just stay home with my baby.

You see that little word there between "I" and "stay". Why do I say the word just? Why don't I confidently say, "I stay home with my baby" or even better "I get to stay home with my baby." Am I ashamed to stay home? Honestly no, I love it and view it as such a privilege! Am I worried what that person's opinion is about me being a SAHM? Probably, because I worry about what people think too much and the mommy wars can get pretty intense! 

I honestly think another reason is our culture has put a negative spin on being a SAHM and not working outside the home. By making such a big deal about women becoming CEOs or being able to "have it all" I think our culture has belittled what is truly the biggest privilege I have ever had, caring for my baby girl full time! I'm not saying women shouldn't pursue these things, but it is ok if we don't. I think when I say that I just stay home I am falling in line with the very thinking I disagree with in our culture.

I think there was a lot of good that came from the early women's movements, but I think it has now been taken to the other extreme. Women who choose to stay home to raise children are looked down on. People think we must be oppressed by our husbands or some set of religious rules. The very people who claim to want women to have the right to do whatever they want, ridicule women who use that right to choose to be home with their kids and enjoy making their house a "home" full time.

I am not writing this to tell other moms to stay at home or make them feel bad for not. I simply want to encourage those who are or who want to but fear what others think. In fact, a lot of this next part could be said to most any mom! :)

So hey there fellow SAHM! I applaud you for what you do! I pray you love and enjoy it as much as I do! Yes, it's hard. Our houses aren't as clean as we think they should be since we are here all day. That laundry gets higher and higher. The sink seems like a bottomless pit of dishes. Sometimes you think you will never get a break or sleep again, but hang in there! What you do matters! 

You are molding, shaping, and loving your family. You are making memories that you and they will cherish. You enjoy those extra snuggles before a nap. Let the dishes pile up without shame while you watch your little one learn to roll over, crawl, and walk. No the dirty laundry will never stop coming, but your family appreciates the clean clothes along the way. If they don't, the people they are around will!

So when someone asks you what you do, say with pride, "I am a stay home mom!" Don't be ashamed that you don't have a job outside the home and you just or only are a homemaker. It's ok that the only headshot you have is a scribble stick version drawn by your little one. You may not be on the cover of a magazine or speak to millions, but the impact you have on your family matters. You are doing important work!

When you are tired and weary and discouraged, remember Jesus says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭ESV)

When you feel discontent remember the words of Paul, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content...I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians‬ ‭4:11, 13‬ ‭ESV)‬‬

When you worry about not having the approval of others remember the words from Galatians, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬)

I hope you are encouraged fellow SAHM, or any mom! God has called you to be a wife and mom and He is there with you as you do it! Now go read that book for the millionth time or change the 100th dirty diaper of the day!